Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is at the center of all of the work that I do. ACT (pronounced like the word act) is a form of therapy that can be used as a guide for working through some of the worst anxiety and being able to do what matters to you without the weight of anxiety getting in the way. Here I’ll give you the 3 main pieces of ACT, to give you an idea of some things we might work on in therapy.
Mindfulness and Acceptance
Mindfulness seems to be a popular thing these days. Many apps are jumping on board to teach you mindfulness, and book after book will tell you how to be more mindful. But, maybe you’re like most people and wondering what mindfulness actually is and if it is something that could benefit you. Mindfulness can seem like a really vague term, so let’s break it down.
Mindfulness essentially means being fully present in this moment right here, and not judging it. So you’re fully aware of your senses, your experience, and you aren’t labeling things (including yourself and your experience) as good or bad, or right or wrong. Sounds great, right?
I like to think of mindfulness as a skill. One that has the ability to help you more fully enjoy your life, because when you’re fully present you can better enjoy experiences by taking everything in and make more thoughtful decisions. When using mindfulness skills, you can better tune out the noise of anxious thoughts, and the distraction of a perfectionist or critical brain.
Now, it’s not something you would use all day every day. In reality there are many times in your day that it wouldn’t make sense to be mindful because you need be deciding if something is good or bad, or the moment just doesn’t lend itself to be fully present. And that’s okay! It is more so helpful to have as a skill when you need it. To pull out when you want to be more present, or to use when it seems like anxiety is getting really loud and bothersome.
I’m going to be honest, though. Mindfulness is hard! I warn clients when I give them a mindfulness exercises to try at home that it is going to be difficult, like any new skill. No one sets out to run a marathon and is successful on day 1. You train and train for it. Same with mindfulness. We start with short mindfulness exercises. Sometimes they are in session exercises where you would close your eyes and I’ll talk you through it. Other times they involve food or objects to practice this skill. I also give clients easy ways to begin to practice being mindful at home. I’ll even share one below!
Drinking your coffee mindfully: When making your coffee, do only that. No multi-tasking. Notice the small details as you put the coffee grounds or pod into the machine. Pay attention to the smell and sounds coming from your coffee maker. Smell your coffee and sip your coffee with full attention. When you notice your mind wanting to wander or judge (“I’m not doing this right”), gently bring your attention back to your coffee and your senses.
Seeing Your Thoughts as… Well, Thoughts!
Thoughts are tricky. They have a way of being very convincing, so much that they can make us think that what they are saying is true when it isn’t.
Ever had an anxious thought that something bad was going to happen, someone hated you, or you blew an interview. Your mind just couldn’t let it go - you thought about it over and over again. Maybe you even lost sleep over it. And then, you come to find out that it was wrong. You got the job, no one was mad at you, or that looming “bad” thing just never happened. Everything turned out, well, fine! Here’s an example of the way our brain can trick us into thinking something is more worrisome than it really is!
Using ACT skills it is possible to change your perspective from thinking that every bad thing should be avoided, to realizing that there aren’t as many bad or scary things out there as your brain might make you think! And, using ACT can help you see your thoughts as a suggestion that you have the power to give time and space to, or let go!
Finding What Matters and Doing It!
Values and action - my favorite pieces of ACT! Let’s dig in!
Values can basically be broken down to this: 1) the person you want to be, and 2) the people, things, experiences (etc) that matter to you. They’re different than goals, because they aren’t things you can check off and complete. They’re more like a guide, a map, a compass.
Once you’re clear about your values, you can be clear about the actions that need to happen to live out those values. Sounds simple, right? Except, if you’ve every struggled with anxiety, you know it isn’t. Because very often anxiety gets in the way of the most important things to you. It may keep you from reaching out to someone because you’re not sure what they will think, applying for that job because you might not get it, wearing something new because you may be judged, etc. Anxiety can cause a lot of unhelpful worry about the people and things that we value the most.
Together, we will overcome those barriers. Step by step. It is usually the first steps that are the hardest, and sometimes that very first hard step can even be scheduling your first session. In my experience though, the first steps are the hardest, but it often gets easier as you go. And, you get the reward of starting to live out a life that really means something to you and is less weighed down by anxiety, worry, and fear.
